Intent and Desire
Force or effort and direction
Carrying on from the previous essay The Human Condition (1), when we recognize that ignorance is the reason for our suffering the next question is "How do we change this for ourselves?" The short answer is we do this by looking within. Of course this requires that one have enough self awareness to realize that all our "negative" emotional reactions we have to our experience are because of our reactions to them. What is the source of reactions? It is our own minds. We have had this knowledge for at least two thousands years as that is when Lucius Annaeus Seneca said:
"A man's as miserable as he thinks he is."
Once we realize that we are the authors of our own suffering the next obvious step is to examine our reactions. To do this requires us to examine our thoughts as they were created by our reactions to previous experiences. We cannot stop our suffering without working on them. This is our challenge, one that has us considering where to focus our attention and wondering how we go about it. The short answer to this is we do it by personal growth. In order to take this task on we have to possess or develop two qualities - intent and desire.
Personal growth is that it is far more than just a task, it is a way to enhance our lives. Through it we develop the qualities that lead to a happier life, a stronger connection to ourselves and the world around us and interest in and capacity to continue to explore, learn and expand ourselves.
Everyone can benefit significantly through personal growth though most pay it little to no attention or or do it at a very slow rate. One’s rate of growth or apparent lack thereof is not the issue, it is about choices rather than right or wrong. Life is dynamic and ever changing as are we even if we are not actively directing how we change. We are incarnate on this earth to learn and grow (with the probable exceptions of Buddha, Christ and the like) and will regardless of whether we are conscious of it or not.
When it comes to the need to grow there should be no shame in admitting we need to grow as it is a truth for all. We learn from every experience we have and how we change as a result either benefits or restricts us. Only when we are weak do we resist this notion. Some of us will insist, if we would admit it at all, that our problems are beyond our control, caused by others or by some outside influence. This is a defense mechanism. Realizing that all of us have room to growth and can benefit from it can help us find the strength to work on it.
We may often look at others feeling or thinking that their lives are fantastic, while ours are not. This may appear to be the case, but is not necessarily so. A great many put on a false front to hide their challenges and each of us have different different conditions to deal with. The key in the last sentence is the word different. We are who we are and until we begin to accept ourselves, in whole not in part, until we cease to worry about what others may or may not be doing, growth is difficult. Besides, we cannot live their lives, we have to live our own lives. It is up to each of us to do something in order to improve ourselves or our lot in life - no one is going to or can do it for us.
I urge you to be kind to yourself, to give yourself time to grow. There are enough blocks in this world without us adding to them by beating up on ourselves. It is very important that we take time to appreciate ourselves every day, to look for any positives no matter how tenuous. I cannot stress enough how this can give us a leg up on the process.
Blame is one of the most common blocks to our growth, as I mentioned, one we must learn to stop using. Why? Besides the fact is that it keeps us from accepting personal responsibility and binds us to the thoughts and energies associated with it. Blaming others for our problems or circumstances makes developing the proper intent far more difficult. Inherent in blame is the thought that “since others are to blame they must fix the problems, it is not my responsibility”.
Blame is a way to take away our responsibilities and place them on others or influences beyond our control. It does not lead us to examine how we react to our experiences or what in us attracted us to or influenced our experiencing of them in the first place. These types of thoughts can restrict us from taking an active role in dealing with our reactions or qualities that draw our experiences to us making it hard to do either. Doing both of these things is the way to becoming the person we feel we can be and to having a better, happier and more fulfilling life.
How does one go about making the decision to develop oneself, to grow within? This question has as many answers as there are people. No one issue, problem or life situation provides the impetus to proceed. It could come from a series of problems that arise, be triggered by a significant event or the drive comes from within. Where we find the intent is irrelevant, having it is what matters. For some, finding the intent may be difficult.
We might feel that when serious issues arise we simply goes about fixing them. This presumes we have the intent already, and need not find it. We all know this isn't the case as we see others struggle with challenges for years and are likely aware of ones we have avoided or tried to cope with in various ways. If we struggle with finding the intent to work on ourselves how do we go about developing it? Well... there is also hope for those in this category and it starts with planting seeds for tomorrow. We do this by setting up a thought process such as “I will develop the intent, and I will be <you fill in the blank>” and continually reinforce it. This act starts the process of developing one’s intent to grow.
Some may argue that such a statement does nothing. I would argue this is simply not the case. Over time the thought form itself, if continually repeated, will modify existing and create new ones that reduce internal resistance. It is not a magic bullet; however, reduced resistance leads to new thought forms taking more prominence. If we can firm up the statement as being a truth for us, wear the clothes so to speak, amazing things can happen. As Socrates said, "Be as you wish to seem."
It can be a challenge to fully believe that a single thought form alone will enable other aspects of us to find ways to manifest change. The key lies in our truly accepting and embracing that we need and want to grow. Such an action strengthens the thought form we are using and it will start to erode resistance and blocks that exist in our non-conscious mind. If you are not able to do it at this point, do not give up. Continue to try to focus your intent by how and what you think; it will help you develop the strength to move forward. There is a essay in the Growth Fundamental section of the site titled "One Thought" that will also help you with this.
The first part of the growth equation is intent; however, we need more than intent. The purpose or reason to pursue personal growth matters. If it is to appease others or because someone thinks we should or for our ego’s, all of which may seem to be good reasons, they may not be enough to carry us forward. Our purpose or reason should reflect our desire to become better people, more balanced or to change ourselves and circumstances so we can live life to the fullest. You have likely heard this phrase before; it is the selling point for many personal growth or wealth building seminars and books.
If your goal is loftier, that of spiritual development, personal growth is not optional. Personal and spiritual growth are entwined. One can work on the former without any intent or need to focus on the latter though the reverse is not the case. Those in this category can choose to not focus on personal growth but do so at their peril. The qualities acquired through personal growth are foundation elements for spiritual growth.
Even if spiritual growth is not your goal everyone has aspects of self to work on. We learn from every experience but will benefit far less from it if we do not choose not to do so consciously. Everyone can benefit from it though I am not saying that everyone should focus on it despite the potential benefits. It remains a personal choice. It is most effective when we are ready and able to commit to it for it can also result in significant changes in and on our lives.
Few are ready and willing to dedicate themselves to growth as many let their lives operate on cruise control. They find ways to cope or "work arounds" or live by the idea “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it" or "I have better things to do with my time." Our lives tell us when our growth needs are high, we just have to be mindful and paying attention in order to "hear it". Interestingly enough, a good indication of the need to grow occurs when we feel that this is not important at all, or is low on our list of priorities.
We all can benefit from learning more about ourselves; it is the best way to correct problems we feel are hurting us or holding us back. There is no way for anyone else to correct any problems we may have, it is up to each of us to do this for ourselves. Others can facilitate, encourage, even partially enable us to grow; however, we are our own best source of help though we may not know it and the only ones who can do it.
When it comes to growth the first questions each of us must answer are:
- Is my life telling me I need to make a change?
- Do I want to change?
- Am I willing to do the work necessary to change?
I cannot understate that commitment is the single most important trait for anyone trying to do serious personal or spiritual growth. When we are young, and before we know any better we tend to abdicate ourselves to the currents of our life. This creates influences that continue for years. Over time they become linked with other aspects of our selves. By the time we reach adulthood they can become so ingrained that it seems like we are cutting off a limb by changing. Problems can escalate to the point where they are destroying our lives or breaking our spirits. This makes finding the strength to change one of the largest obstacles before us.
Internally we know when we are having problems we are not correcting, and that we ought to be. At the time, we can convince ourselves otherwise as we may not know how to listen to our lives or lack the will to do so. Left unchecked we can spiral down sapping our will and internal strength to the degree that we feel it is too late. This is never the case. We can always do something, almost without exception, to make things better.
Growth and change are certainly more difficult when our challenges have led to irreversible consequences. Examples would be having committed a crime our record will follow us, alienated those close to us or suffering an irreversible disability along the way. We can try to defend our resistance by thinking it does not matter anymore because there is no going back. This too is a personal choice.
Our lives are our own to live and we can choose to give up, but giving up is just another form of procrastination. It does not make anything go away, or help problems to disappear. We can try to avoid or ignore them, we can circle around them or try to get away from them. For a time this may appear to be successful though almost inevitably they will come back to haunt us. Despite appearances to the contrary our issues are not the result of external forces; they are of our own making and it is not possible to run away from ourselves.
There is no going back, but we can certainly go forward, which will happen regardless of our choices. To change things we need to make adjustments based on where our lives are now, work on our self-definition, not forgetting what we were, only changing our self-definition to reflect what we want to be or are becoming. A good example is children who are born with permanent disabilities. They do not experience the same psychological responses of those who take on a disability later in life. We must find the will to do something about our circumstances or will continue to suffer. We must find the desire to move forward in the direction of our intent. The question many have is “how do I do this?”
In today’s world, as it has always been, life can get complicated. We can find we have painted ourselves into a corner and do not see a way forward. To find and focus our desire to change we focus on the here and now. We search ourselves for the desire to live a better, happier life. It can help to know that if often takes more energy to resist change than it does to actually do it. We start this process as we do with developing our intent, with a thought or thoughts. In this case they are those of how we would like it to be or where we would like to be.
We do not arrive at where we are in life by accident or because someone did something to us. Life events are not random though they sure can appear to be. We are where we are because that is where we have put ourselves even if we are not consciously aware of choosing.
Our experiences and reactions to them have led us to where we are. I see each life as being but one in a series of lives all of which contribute to the purpose of waking up our true self, something we will explore in later essays. Further, I believe that our true self choose the life we are born into, where we are born and so forth in order to put us in the right "place" to learn lessons we can only learn through living the life we find ourselves it. This means that where I am right now must be a necessary part of that journey.
At the physical level we ask “why me?” or “what did I do to deserve this life?”, but these questions bind us to guilt and blame or our pains and anger. They are also of the past and by holding to them can deny us the possibilities of the future. While neither I nor anyone else can find the strength for you to grow I can remind you that life does have a purpose, that there are reasons to live. Each of us must find the strength within ourselves, our own reason, and then put our spirit behind it. We must find the desire to act, which is why desire is the second part of the growth equation.
What we need to find is the desire to act instead of simply react to our experiences... the desire to change and fix what we can so we can become more balanced and whole people. Without desire, nothing happens. Without desire, we are wasting our time. There are reasons for one’s lack of desire, reasons based on our experiences, and reactions to them just as there are for those who lack the intent to change. At the time of those experiences, we may not have known better or have blamed others for our circumstances and subsequent experiences can further inhibit our desire. Yet, this too is not insurmountable. We can find and correct the sources of our inhibitions, regardless of the reasons why.
We need desire to get out of bed in the morning, to feed ourselves and do pretty much everything. Sometimes we mix up desire to change with reasons to and remain where we are. There is an old saying, “when we are ready to change we do, not before”. The desire to change alone is not enough; as we have touched on already, we also need the intent to change. Either of these alone will not help a great deal. Certainly if we have neither of them, we will likely not get both at the same time. This is not to diminish the importance of working to acquire both.
To intend is to have purpose or direction but force without direction gets us nowhere. The same thing applies to having a direction without movement or work. In physics, when we define the motion of an object, we can refer to two pieces of information. The first is defining where the object is, its coordinates; the second is its motion, its velocity and direction. By knowing this information we can predict where it will be at a certain point in time. Applying this to ourselves, and doing so honesty, we can discern where our lives are going.
The bottom line is that without force, we go nowhere, without direction (and there are literally millions to choose from) we are acting randomly and could end up anywhere, just likely not where we would choose. Keep this in mind as you work on yourself. If you find yourself struggling with or unsure about your intent focus on your desire and the intent will resurface and if it is your desire that is waning refocus on your intent and it can help draw your desire back out into the open.
Intent and Desire - Summary of Key Elements
Ways to Develop Intent
Ways to Develop Desire
© 2009 Allan Beveridge
Last updated October 28, 2020
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